I will apologise to everyone for not posting last Friday. I was a bit upset due to some bad news (not health related), I needed time to cool down and think. I was sure that anything I had to write would NOT have been positive!! I aim to keep posting regardless of crazy moments but this was dire!
But… it has given me a topic for today’s post! A positive, see? I am laughing out loud as I typed that. I would not have been able to joke about that on Friday!
Everyone will experience one of those days, when you receive some news that severely shakes you or all out brings your foundations crashing down. Friday was a medium quake for me. I had that feeling that I dread. I have only had it a few times (when Dad died, after a massive fight with my sister, after a break up), the one where you feel both stunned and numb (almost dead inside). I have also had that feeling when I have received bad news about my health. I remember sitting in my room once, waiting for the transplant doctor to come and have a talk to me. I did not have problem with the doctor as such, it was more the situation of even having to talk to him in the first place, I sat there waiting for, yet dreading, his arrival. I felt hallow inside. We are all going to have a time when we experience that feeling of a dead weight in our tummy. The only thing that you can do at that very moment, when you have no control over the situation, is to look inside yourself. You cannot change others, their behaviours or situations beyond your grasp. You can only change they way you feel and react to that situation. That is the only thing that will give you peace when you are in a situation that you feel is spinning out of control.
Having a bit of experience with taking a “blow”, I have found that there is one major thing I can do to lessen the aftermath that the “blow” leaves. You have GOT to TALK it out. You have to reach deep inside yourself and get whatever you are thinking and feeling out of your head. Here it is best to choose someone to talk to that is mainly going to listen to you and NOT sit there and criticise you or tell you what you should have done. That helps no one. Look for someone you know is a “friendly” ear, someone who will let you get it off your chest with out holding it against you or throwing it back in your face. You need to do this because if you sit there and let it fester in your head, smallish things blow out to an enormous size. Thoughts stuck in your head start to distort and become totally blown out of proportion. By having an opportunity to get it out, immediately your reducing the pressure on yourself to have all the answers. No man is camel, call it what you want but it is important to “vent”, “bitch” etc. You CANNOT keep it all to yourself. Doing so will only make you sicker than you want to be. It will crush your spirit. In the light of day, movements or sounds are nowhere near as menacing as they appear in the dark. The same goes for problems stuck in your head. Talking out a problem also often reveals solutions that you would never have thought of if kept it all to yourself. It can be worth it for this point alone. Talking out my problem with my Mum on Friday (we went on for hours – I was so drained afterwards!) really helped me see things clearly and showed me what needed to be done to get the situation under as much control as possible. Her input made me see the whole thing in a totally different way and that was EXACTLY what I needed!
So do not sit there in misery, the weight of your crazy thoughts weighing you down. Reach deep within and pull out all the painful emotions and reactions you are experiencing and send them on their way. You will do yourself a wonderful service. You need not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Now is the time that we step out of the dark and into the LIGHT! It will have your fighting spirit back in no time!
All the best, Lily
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